The Imperfect Cook: Bakeshop Edition

As you are probably all aware, my BIG, SCARY, practical exam is coming up in just over a week. I'm doing my best to study, and going over the possible items. Banana Cream Pie is one of the listed desserts, and since I haven't made Pastry Cream in ages, I thought I'd better review.
I'm not a huge fan of bananas, but desserts do tend to get eaten one way or another around here!

Here we go!
The ingredients are simple:
Milk, Egg Yolks, Whole Eggs, Sugar (divided into two equal portions), Cornstarch, Butter, and Vanilla.
First, we are going to heat up the milk. I usually set it to somewhere around medium. I don't want to boil it!!
Add one of the parts of sugar, and stir! I hope you are appreciating the fact that I am performing this left-handed!
Now for the egg yolks, and whole eggs...beat them! Muahaha!
Once they are well beaten, throw in that cornstarch and stir it all up!
Well done, well done.
Now the milk is getting a lot hotter. When it gets all frothy and steamy, with a little burbling under that foam, it is ready!
Now I am going to temper it with the egg mix. I don't want to add it all at once, because I don't really fancy cornstarchy scrambled eggs for lunch.
Whisk it as you slowly add the milk.
Now you want to have this pot of water on. You want a pot big enough that the steel bowl you are using for you milk/egg mix will fit inside, with the rim resting on the pot. Its a double-boiler! Hooray! Fill it a few inches with water. It doesn't need to be really full, just enough to produce a lot of steam. Have it come to a steady simmer, but a full boil can sometimes be too hot, so be careful.
When the steam is coming fast and furious, put your bowl on it and start whisking!!!
Faster! Faster!! FASTER!!! No scrambled eggs!!!
It will take a few minutes before it starts to thicken. When you see it start to boil, take it off the pot, and toss in your butter and vanilla (which looks disturbingly red in that pic...eww)
This is a nice consistency. Do it like this.
Now, because there is so much dairy in this (like...all of it) you don't want it to be sitting around at that warm "cooling-off" stage for very long. I would prefer to keep everyone alive and not being violently ill after eating my desserts. Just a personal preference.
So what I did is scrape my pastry cream into a smaller (cool) bowl, then rinse out my big bowl, fill it with ice, and then stick my pastry cream bowl on top of the ice....you still with me?
See? Big Bowl-- Ice. Small bowl-- pastry cream!
This cools it down really fast, so there's a lot less risk of bacteria growth.
While we are doing away with salmonella poisoning, lets chop up some banana!
Toss in the first layer.
When the pastry cream is no longer steaming, and feels cool-ish, splat some on top of those weird, mushy little circles. I think it was always the banana texture that threw me off.
Next layer! I used a particularly shallow pie pan, so I'm only gonna get these two layers in, but you might be able to fit another layer with a deeper dish.
Beeeeeautiful!
And there she is. Don't even start me on the mint garnish. Mint...and Banana?!?!
I...I don't know why I did it...I'm...sorry....it won't happen again.
The recipe probably makes enough for two good-sized cream pies. I made one small pie, and a bunch of tarts. So...go ahead and cut it in half if you want.

1 Liter Milk (you are probably better off with whole milk...I sinned, and used 1%)
250 g Sugar, divided into 2 parts
4 Egg Yolks
2 Whole Eggs
75 g Cornstarch
1 Tablespoon Vanilla
60 g Butter

The best thing about this recipe is....it can be used for ANYTHING! It doesn't have to be Banana Cream! It could be Butterscotch, or Chocolate, or Coconut! Or even...LEMON! (this one needs a few small adjustments...namely using water instead of milk, increasing sugar and cornstarch, and of course...adding lemon!) OR you can cut the cornstarch in half, and voila-- pudding!
And I can guarantee that it tastes better than any store-bought product!
You should try it. Its goooooood.

Life Cycle of a Blossom

What you are about to see is a series of time-lapsed photographs, recording the life cycle of a Christmas Cactus blossom.
This is a rare and beautiful sighting. It took much patience and dedication to capture these early moments of the blossom's life.
The photographer was truly committed to their cause, spending mind-numbing months of solitude in their hideout, in order to preserve these precious moments for the viewing pleasure of others...not unlike those heroes who brought us the first filming of a Snow Leopard on Planet Earth.
How the anticipation must have built when the blossom began to open up!
Petal by petal, the beauty is unwrapped...
At last! The glorious bloom is revealed! Oh the splendor! The filmy petals! The delicate stamen! The vibrant hue of pink! Life is worth living again! The photographer has forgotten the long, silent days behind the lens, and now only rejoices in the present beauty. The cost is as nothing.
But all good things come to an end.
Such is life.

Wow, that is depressing.

It Lives!

I've never been known for my patience.
Yesterday I had to see if there was any improvement in my phone...I couldn't wait DAYS for results!
I turned it on...and...it sparked to life!
It only lasted a minute before it sputtered out, so I put it back in the rice, and tried it again this morning. It came on quite normally, but the screen still looks like there's some moisture behind it, so I'm gonna let it dry out a bit longer.
I'm just so happy its not dead!

Rice Bowl Rescue

As many of you have probably already read on my Facebook status, today I did a very stupid thing.
Feeling highly motivated to get some chores done this morning, I tossed a load of laundry into the wash without searching the pockets of my pants and hoodies.
Unfortunately, nestled within the clothes was my cell phone. It endured a full cycle, and was discovered at the bottom after I'd pulled all the soggy laundry out.
I didn't feel so enthusiastic about chores after that.
I tried drying it out with a blow-drier set on cool, and leaving it in the breeze via my windowsill.
Then I turned to my friends on Facebook, who almost definitely have more knowledge on this subject than I do! Cell phones go through so much.
You guys didn't let me down!

Apparently letting the phone sit in rice for a couple days will draw the moisture out, and save the phone. I'm going to give it a try. Since I'm moving down to the island in a couple weeks, I will definitely need a phone, and I kinda don't want to spend any money on a new one!!
So we'll see if this rice thing works...I'll keep you posted.

Death By Ladder

Do you ever wonder how you will die, or when?
I don't, usually...
But this morning it struck me that I don't want a really lame cause of death. Something stupid like Genghis Khan's infamous nosebleed.
Actually, had circumstances been slightly different as I was driving to school this morning around 7AM, someone might have been obliged to relay to you the tragic and stupid cause of my demise: death by ladder.
I was heading up the highway towards TRU, just past the Brick, when I noticed that the truck ahead of me had not properly secured its load. Stacked on top of other equipment, a large steel ladder began to slip. I had only a second to realize what was happening before it fell off the truck and crashed onto the asphalt, sparks flying. It bounced, coming towards me.

Confession: I probably, not quite sure, but maybe...closed my eyes and squeaked in fright.

I also braked and swerved, and the ladder skidded to the middle of the road, without hitting anything or anyone.

PHEW.

My hands were still shaking when I got to school.

It could so easily have bounced right into my car, and through my windshield.
Kinda freaky.
Ok, really freaky.

I know everyone's gotta go at some point, but I really would prefer not to go like that.

Movies

Since I got a life, albeit a homework-and-food-and-tests-and-more-food related one, my knowledge of movies (and pop culture in general) has sadly declined. In fact, its almost diminished entirely. I don't know what's making big bucks at the box office, what's a new release, or who won Best Actor at the Oscars. I'm clueless, I say!
And really, I'm not too choked up about it. Sometimes when I'm picking out a rental on Friday night, I think there must be something good that I would probably really like to see if only I knew about it. But most of the time, I'm not anticipating anything.
Except this. I've already admitted to being a little bit nuts about the Harry Potter series, and while I'm not crazy about the movies, I definitely will see them in theaters! Its this weird part of me that knows it will not be nearly as satisfying as reading the book, but dying to know what it's gonna look like on the big screen!
Anyway, I was very excited to see the release date as July 15 (though, as you can see on the poster, this is bumped back from the original release date). Its really not that far away! Also, I really liked "The Half-Blood Prince", and I think it will translate pretty well into cinema, which "Order of the Phoenix" didn't accomplish. (that's ok. It was my least-favorite book. I wasn't expecting much)
I read the entire series up to "Prince" my second summer CIT-ing at Homewood, when it was just released. This means not many people knew the latest developments in the story, so there was no one to spoil it for me.
My, oh my. Its such a great story. It holds you right to the end, and then you frantically read the last couple chapters in a panicked frenzy, not quite believing how its all turning out, but knowing that anything could happen...
For those of you who haven't read the books, and don't know the story please identify yourselves, I'd like to find the rock you're living under I won't spoil it for you.
But will you go see the movie with me when it comes out?
Its gonna be gooooood!!!

Rose-Tinted Holidays

It was beautiful and very satisfying that I slept in until 8:30 am, the last person up...and it is Monday morning. That has not happened since...probably August of last year. I was even the first person up on Christmas morning!
This whole weekend was a delight. Four whole days off...indescribably wonderful.
What did I do with my time? Well, beyond what you've read about the past 3 days, I've really done a whole lot of nothing!
I got some summer shopping done, and I watched a lot of tv, and the highlight was a quick visit from the Homewood director and his family on their way to Calgary. Very fun!
But other than that...well...

I did spend about an hour, taking over 100 pictures of a rose.

Does that count?

Happy Easter

Enjoy the holiday!
But don't eat too much turkey.

Mice

For as long as I can remember, I've had a weird fascination with mice.
Maybe it was Beatrix Potter's illustrations, or the story "Mrs Frisby & the Rats of NIMH" that made me sympathetic to their fear-filled lives, and wee faces...I'm fairly sure it was fiction of some sort. When I was little I memorized a poem and it went something like this:

I think mice are rather nice.
Their tails are long, their faces small;
They haven't any chin at all.
Their ears are pink, their teeth are white;
They run about the house at night;
They nibble things they shouldn't touch,
and no one seems to like them much,
But I think mice are rather nice.

(Rose Fyleman...I looked it up)

Yes, its true. I have a soft spot for mice.
Don't get me wrong-- I do NOT like to have mice sharing my residence, and I do NOT like to find them scurrying around my feet!! There is no doubt that they are germ-infested, and a pest in the household. But mice living in their natural habitat in the wild...I think they are rather nice!
But they have such hard lives! They are food for pretty much everything bigger than them, and they live in constant fear.

So it made me sad today when Mike spotted an adorable chubster that had fallen onto the winter tarp over our pool. He looked so pathetic and scared. I wanted to cuddle him.
Not really.
Well, ok, sort of.
Luckily, he was unhurt...though he did get a good dousing when Mike tried to rescue him with a rake and he fell off. And then he got catapulted over the fence into the yard. I didn't see him after that, but I hope he is ok, and that he lives a long and prosperous life...just not in our house.

Hoo Doos

We went to Drumheller once when I was younger, and I remember climbing up to Hoo Doos there, and it seemed very exotic.
Little did I know that we had our very own Hoo Doos right here in Kamloops!
They are on the North Shore, kind of by that spooky old psychiatric hospital.
Today I went out there to hike with my parents, Mike, and my friend Lin, from school. Lin is from Taiwan, and though she has lived in Kamloops for about 3 years, she's never really explored the area. It was fun to bring her out for the experience.
She is a good sport, and always up for any kind of adventure! There were a lot of cacti out and about! Every once in a while one would pounce on our unsuspecting legs...I have no idea how, but one thing was certain: it desired our flesh.
Mike had an unusual way of dealing with the threat. But what else is new.
They struck back with a vengeance.
There were a lot of tricky sections on our "trail". Sometimes it was really scary.
Mom wasn't very confident of her skills.
In the end we all survived, and it was a beautiful day. A great way to start the holiday!

The Budster

I'm not gonna lie to you.
I don't like Buddy.
He is my mom's cat, and everyone else seems to think he is great, but to me he is just plain annoying.

I'm not exactly sure why I don't like him. At first I didn't mind him. He was kind of stupid, but otherwise fine. At one point I even tried to be friends with him. The turning point was at Christmas when his fetish for plastic drove him to my closet, and he chewed up all my painstakingly-cellophane-wrapped gifts for my friends. Then he was no longer a possible friend, he was just a really annoying animal.

There area actually a few things about him I don't like, but maybe the root of the problem is that he just isn't my Beebs. (She's been gone nearly 2 years now, and I still get teary thinking about her)

Which you might think is unfair, because he can't help that.

Neither can I, so I guess that's that.

But really now, there are moments when I don't mind him.
Moments like this.

I mean, who can't love this? Cats can just be so cute sometimes.
Their little noses, and whiskers, eyes tight shut, and those adorable little paws.
Sleeping cats just get me right there, ya know? They just look so comfortable.

And then he wakes up and drags garbage out, and chews crinkly plastic, and walks on the keyboard, and starts his annoying little games all over again.

If only he would sleep all the time, we might get along.

Tim Tam Slam Instructional Video!!!

I believe Arnott's Tim Tams are an Australian creation.

Necessary materials for Tim Tam Slamming: Hot Chocolate, and Tim Tams

They are quite simply chocolate wafers, with a creamy chocolate filling sandwiched between.
I'd never tried one until Saturday. I knew there was only one way to eat them, which is to Slam that Tim Tam!
...but I wasn't exactly sure how to do that. So this weekend, I got the expert to teach me, and now I'm sharing that knowledge with you!



Wasn't that great?? And ps. those Tim Tams are AMAZING!!! Sooooo yummy!
You can get them at Superstore, and it is so worth it. They would be fabulous as a midnight snack on a weekend camping trip, too.

Also, if anyone can figure out what wisdom my mother is trying to impart to Mike in the background, I would sincerely appreciate your sharing.