"Settling" Down

While cleaning the other night I noticed an article in a magazine that intrigued me. It was an interview with a 40-year-old woman, a single mother via anonymous sperm donor, who had written an essay (& eventually a book) called "Marry Him!".

Lori Gottlieb makes a case for ditching the tall, dark, and handsome ideal women hold out for, and settling for "Mr Good Enough".

When I got home I looked up the article to read it for myself. You can find it here.

If you have the time, please do read it, as she makes a lot of different points, and its not quite as cut & dry as I've summarized :)
This is a couple years old, so maybe you've read it already.

Now while she admits that she writes as a woman whose biological clock is ticking, what she is saying is, "Don't fall for the lies I fell for! Marry someone who will be a good husband and father while you are young, because the longer you wait, the fewer your options are going to be. There is no such thing as a 'soulmate'...don't wait for someone who will sweep you off your feet: Mr Right doesn't exist!"

Feminists and Romantics alike do not take kindly to her message. After all, it flies in the face of everything we have been taught since we are little girls. We are princesses who are waiting for our prince...right? Chick flicks are made from the idea that we are fated to meet The One. And if we haven't met him yet or don't meet him at all...well, we won't settle for anything less because we deserve better! Besides, we have our fulfilling careers, and like Lori, we don't have to be in any kind of relationship to be a mother and have a family.

Lori advises against ruling out a potential because he doesn't measure up to your Dark Eyed Ideal. Like the bitter old Mrs. Harmon Andrews of Avonlea, she's merely stating that, "Its the over particular girls that get left". Checklists may leave you alone and lonely. This is nothing new.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that there is no "Perfect Guy" out there, because who of us is perfect? If I am not a Perfect Girl, why should I expect a Perfect Guy? We will each have our quirks and annoying habits or mannerisms. And most definitely we will both have serious flaws...
So don't hold out for a "10/10" when we ourselves don't even rate that high. "'Settle' for an 8/10", she says. "Because you'll find you are not really settling at all."

Ok, that makes sense to me. But she goes on to talk about romance.

"When we’re holding out for deep romantic love, we have the fantasy that this level of passionate intensity will make us happier. But marrying Mr. Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a stable, reliable life companion."

"...realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection—it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all."

Now, I can understand her line of thinking. I'm even inclined to agree with most of it. But if I'm going to be very honest here, I've always harbored the idea there is only one person out there for me. The One, Mr. Right, a soulmate, if you will.
Do you think it is possible that you choose your own soulmate?* Is choosing a husband (or wife) really just a matter of deciding who would be a good 'team-mate'? Its not a matter of pre-destination, its a matter of choosing someone compatible, and sticking to your choice?

"I would say even if he’s not the love of your life, make sure he’s someone you respect intellectually, makes you laugh, appreciates you … I bet there are plenty of these men in the older, overweight, and bald category (which they all eventually become anyway)."

I'm not fretting about running out of time and ending up with someone old enough to be my grandfather because I'm out of options.I'm just curious.
Obviously this makes sense on one hand. To marry someone you need to be able to work well together, and respect them. That will be the glue that holds you together. But should a person rule out romance as a factor altogether? My gut (which is very reliable) says "Duuuuhhh! No." but that could also be all the Jane Austen fiction I've been reading, which tells me Mr. Knightley will come at the right moment, and we'll live so happy ever after that there is no need to write a sequel.

"Once you’re married, it’s not about whom you want to go on vacation with; it’s about whom you want to run a household with. Marriage isn’t a passion-fest; it’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business. And I mean this in a good way."

Ms. Gettlieb had never been married at the time she wrote this article, and as far as I know she is still unmarried. So while she may write a whole lot about marriage, I'm wondering how accurate it can be. I think she makes a lot of solid points...there is no perfect man out there, and the criteria for a husband does not necessarily include a chiseled jaw and piercing gaze. He might even have a double chin, and pick his nose.

But does it make sense to date someone who you are not romantically attracted to (I think I remember the Boundless Show doing a spot on this)? Should you wait and hope this develops in time? How long should you wait? Are the other more practical qualities more important? Is stability really the main requirement in a marriage? Doesn't that sound a bit mercenary?

Alright I know there are a lot of you married women reading this blog, and you are my most faithful commenters, so I'm counting on you to weigh in! But I also want the thoughts of my single unmarried friends...don't be afraid!






*Ok, wildly nerdy analogy here...I just can't resist. If you've read Harry Potter, all I'm gonna say is...Neville Longbottom could've been the Chosen One...HA!

The Month of Luuuuuuurrrvvvv....

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately...this week...at all. Geez, has it really been that long?
I seem to go through these phases...I almost hit a record high in January, and now its well into February, and this is my first post of the month!

Sigh.

I just don't know what to write about.

Actually, since its February, month of Valentines, aka LOVE, and there are little red hearts, chocolates, and roses, everywhere...I figure why not celebrate?

Sure I'm single as the day I was born, but there are plenty of friends out there who are completely twitterpated, and I'm happy for them! In fact, I'm going to get on the ball this year, and start my 2010 engagement/wedding tally NOW! I like to see the numbers go up :)

On top of all this, I've been visiting with my friend from out of town, and even though she is single, she is one of those girls who likes to plan her wedding "ahead of time". She has picked out her exact style of wedding dress, hair, shoes, etc...
Sure, why not know what you like?
I've never really been the type to think about my wedding. I mean, I can generally tell you what I like in a wedding, and what I don't, but I've never gone into specifics about what I would want. But our conversation piqued my interest, and I went on one of my terrible, fanatical, research binges.
Sort of like the 1920's one I just went though, that led me to the Diamond Dame blog, this excessive wedding craze led me to Once Wed.
Suffering from insomnia anyway, I spent the night perusing different styles of weddings. A lot of the featured weddings on the blog are vintage-inspired, which is right up my alley.

I began to give wedding dresses some thought.

There are so many white satin/silk, strapless, embroidered, princess poof dresses out there. I know that a lot of people like that more traditional style, and until now I'd always assumed that's what I would get. But the more I looked, the less I liked.

I have come to the conclusion that my dress will neither be made of silk or satin, it will not be a stark white (I think plain white is less common these days anyway), and I want...sleeves. There...I said it...I know sleeves on wedding dresses can be weird, but there some some nice ones. And I shall have them!

Hee hee...I feel silly making decisions about a day that is so far away in the very distant future, but it's kind of fun too. I figure the more I decide now, (if I write it down) the less I will have to decide later. Which is always a good thing.

If you're interested in seeing a dress I absolutely adore, search "Seth and Dionna" on the Once Wed blog link. His scarf thing is pretty awesome too.

Thoughts?

If you are married, what was your wedding like? What would you do differently now, if anything? Did you plan your wedding at all, before you were engaged?

If you are unmarried, have you ever thought about your future wedding day? How do you picture it?

I have many more thoughts, but as I said before, I feel silly writing about them. This is about as deep as I will delve for now.

Winter Already?!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw snow outside my window this morning.
It wasn't even that cold yesterday! How could it snow?
I want my rain back!

On top of that, I'm fighting this darn cold, and I feel like my head is a helium balloon being pumped up; the pressure increasing with every sniffle. Argh.

Which brings me to reason why no one received any comments yesterday. I was feeling sick. And lazy. I'll make it up to you today.

Also, does anyone else feel like doing nothing but eating and sleeping these days? Is this a result of my cold, or maybe its just me....?

I was thinking about those chocolate cookies last night. I was concocting a plan to make them even chewier, and more delicious. Can't wait to try it out!

I was hoping to get out and drop off resumes this week. Now its Thursday, and I've done very little at all besides blow my nose and sleep. Frustrating! I feel like I'm never going to find a job, and therefore never have enough money to get to school next Fall.

Speaking of which, I got the info packet from WCCMT yesterday, and it left me feeling very poor and confused. How can I spend all that money not even knowing for sure that is what I want to do? I guess that's why they have the introductory workshop.

I think I've also decided if I did go, I would go for the 3-year program right off the bat, instead of becoming a "Spa Practitioner" first. I want to have that pretty piece of paper that says "RMT".

This post is so random. This is what my brain looks like. It sort of makes sense, but not really.

Photophobia

I recently took a picture of my dearest mother and I, which I thought was kind of nice.
She, however, exclaimed with horror, "Don't you ever show that picture to anyone!!! I look terrible!" You will find it posted below......
kidding, mom. Kidding.

It was a perfectly good picture. While neither of us are extremely photogenic, we were both smiling normally (well she was anyway), the lighting wasn't bad (we were outside)...if anything I should have been the one protesting, since my head was in the foreground, thus appearing abnormally large.

What is it about us that hates pictures of ourselves? Maybe this is something unique to my family, because I sure do it a lot. I cringe and think, is that really what I look like?? Everyone else is like, "that's a good picture of you!" and I'm thinking, "If that's a good picture..."

Are we harder on ourselves, because we don't see ourselves all the time everyday? While everyone else is used to seeing us everyday, we aren't used to seeing ourselves unless we're posing in front of the mirror (not that I do that...)?

Are we simply not aware of what we look like 'normally'?

Does anyone else get that?

Eye of the Beholder

I am coming down with a cold now.
I was sneezing last night at work, and then when I woke up early this morning my throat was like a gravel road. On a rocky mountain. With sand.
Being the kind of person that believes sleep cures most ailments, I rolled over, and went back to dreamland for a couple hours.
When I got up, it was much better, but I feel like I have to do all that I can to keep it at bay.
As soon as I get the proper ingredients, I will introduce your to Taryn's Elixer for the Common Cold, which my one of my very good friend's from Strathcona used to cure everyone at the lodge when we were all suffering from sore throats and sniffles.

Until then, I do not have the strength or will to come up with interesting blog topics.
So today I bring you another Strathcona special, which we cooks discussed because we spent numerous hours in the kitchen working with our hands and not our minds, and had nothing better to do...

The statement in question was,

Women Place More Value in Beauty Than Men Do.

Bear in mind, it is acknowledged to be a generalized statement, which means obviously not everyone is the same...therefore, "Women in General," and "Men in General" would be more accurate wording.

Also, we are not talking specifically Physical Beauty. This is just Beauty in General.

We really had to word our discussion statements carefully over there.
It got pretty intense.

So what do you think?
I know I have both male and female readers, so I'd love to hear from both sides...

Comment Karma

Well, it appears that it takes more than a bloggy birthday and the promise of delicious cookies to get comments out of you stubborn lurkers.

So here is what I propose...

Its new. Its daring. And it will promote bloggy goodwill everywhere.

Its also an experiment! I am excited, aren't you?!

See, I think that when you comment on a persons' blog, they are more likely to return the favor, and comment on yours.

I call this...

Comment Karma!

Karma: the concept of a system where beneficial effects are derived from past beneficial actions and harmful effects from past harmful actions.

Let's start a comment revolution!

Here's how its going to work.

You begin by commenting on..lets say...five...different blogs.

They can be the blogs of someone you know, someone you don't know, a blog you've read for a while but never commented on, or a blog you just stumbled across this minute. Or whatever. My point is, it can be any blog. But I think it will work better if you comment on more personal blogs, rather than huge well-known blogs that get 1000+ comments every day.

For those of you unused to commenting, it doesn't have to be anything profound! I think comment content is what scares people off commenting the most. Honestly now, if you have a blog, have you ever got a comment that you just thought, "Wow that is a stupid comment, why did they even bother writing that?". The correct answer is NO! If you are anything at all like me, you will be so excited about actually getting a comment, comment critique will be the last thing on your mind!
So go ahead, type out a quick, "I totally agree! By the way, I like your blog", and you will make some blogger very happy. Eventually you can move on to more interesting comments. Baby steps, remember?

Back to the C.K. program here.

The next day, drop off four comments. Any blogs. Doesn't matter. The catch is, if you got any comments in the last day you have to return the comment karma, given the commenter has a blog. This can be included in your four required comments if you are feeling stingy.

Still with me?

Next day: 3 comments. And you still have to karma comment to every comment you have received.

Day after that: 2 comments + comment karma.

And after that: 1 comment + comment karma.

After that....well hopefully everyone will be commenting away that the comment karma will be on such a roll that no one can stop it!

I'm kinda stoked about this. Think it'll work?

INFP: I Need to Focus Please

Or something. That was the best I could come up with for that acronym.

I struggle with my personality, sometimes. I find aspects of myself very frustrating. For instance, I have very good intentions, but very little follow-through. I get lots of ideas for things I would love to do, and I make exciting plans, and then...somehow I just never get around to doing those things. I make lists, and I make lists of lists, I sometimes even check things off, but eventually they join the other lists stuffed in my drawer that never see the light of day again. Goals are excellent, but I can never seem to nail down a timeline to achieve them. I always second guess myself, and then I think, "Well, I will get it done when I get it done." and guess what? It doesn't get done.

I once blogged about my Meyers-Briggs personality quiz result. I am INFP, the "Dreamer" or more commonly known as the "Healer". I don't know about the healing part, but I'm definitely an Idealist. Being an Idealist isn't easy. There's too much realism in this world. I'm big bundle of sensitivity, that's what I am. I've got so many feelings, they bump into each other and they all get hurt.



I'm getting side-tracked.

Today I wanted to find out what would be a good job for my personality type. As a decided Introvert I don't want to be in a position where I have to interact with new people all the time. But as a Feeler, I want to help people out in some meaningful way.
So I went online and looked up some INFP job suggestions. And promptly got sucked into analyzing myself. The more I read on INFP traits, the more I realized that I am becoming more INFP-ish as I get older. I never used to be like this, I swear! But I am not alone.
I stumbled across a forum board of a bunch of INFP-ers bemoaning their personality and how hard it is for them to find a fulfilling job. Greeeeaaaaat.
We are a needy bunch. Hard to please. We lack organizational skills and go-get-em attitudes, but we want do work of significance.
I feel full of contradictions, and I know what I want, but I don't know if it exists.

Aaaaaaaand its getting really late, and I'm probably just rambling now....I get really strange once it hits the "wee hours", but then again, that's when I'm at my conversational best, don'tcha know? ahaha...I bet this post doesn't make any sense! I can hardly wait 'til noon, when I will read this again and be really embarassed! AWESOME.

Forked

I'm at the fork in the road again.

I hate the fork in the road.

It means making decisions, and it means I have to decide what I want. And what I want may or may not exist in real life.

That is, a job that I love.

Last year I thought, "I will cook! Cooking will be great! I will love to cook!"
And I DO love to cook. But I am sometimes not a huge fan of working in a kitchen, sometimes. I definitely do NOT love line cooking. And frankly, I'm not enough of a perfectionist to go very far in it.

So I've crossed cooking as a career off my list.

And now that I'm not going back to school, I have to start looking at other options for this Fall.

Sometimes I think I want a job where I do not have to deal with people at all. People can be annoying, and demanding, and rude, and I don't like dealing with people like that. I just want to tell them to get over themselves and get a life. And that really wouldn't go over so well in a customer service type of job.

Other times I think I would go even crazier if I worked alone. Sometimes solitude isn't very healthy for me. I need other people around even if I don't interact with them, or else I just get really...weird. I can't explain it...all I know is, it isn't good.

I can't sit at a desk all day or I will be in physical pain 24/7, and if I'm running around on my feet all day, that can be just as bad. Am I just being difficult?

I want a job where it isn't just a job. I want to be of help to someone in some meaningful way. But I also want to be able to come home from work and not think about it. Is this realistic?

Right now I've just started working part-time as commercial janitor...its pretty mindless, simple work, but it does require attention to detail which I will have to improve in myself! For now, its ok, and it pays pretty good compared to what I'm used to. But its just a bandaid on my problem...I obviously can't/won't do this for the rest of my life. So what am I going to do?
I'm so envious of people who are ambitious and focused and get into what they want to do right out of highschool. They are already well on their way to accomplishing their goals...and I'm still drifting. I haven't really completed anything since highschool. Am I just going to wander aimlessly through life forever? I have even less of an idea of what I want to do now, than I did then! I just know more things that I don't want to do :P

I keep hoping that one day I will see something and get my "aha!" moment, but I'm beginning to wonder if there will realistically ever be a job that I'm excited about. Ever felt that way? Do you have a job (or know of a job) that gets you excited? What is it and why do you love it?

AWOL

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging lately.
I feel like I haven't got much to say these days. Nothing super exciting has happened (besides Karissa's 21st Birthday! Happy Birthday!!), and I actually slept through the night last night. No mouse stories, no adventure stories, no kitchen stories...
I do have a question though. I've been thinking about acronyms (I think that is the word), and I was wondering what they mean. MIA is Missing in Action, right? What about AWOL? Is that Absent WithOut Leave? And what is STAT? Like, "I need that scalpel, STAT!" Does it mean anything? Or is it just fun to say? I dont' know.

Rants and Reviews on Romantic Fiction

I spent the week wading through Wuthering Heights.
When I was a lot younger I plucked it off the bookshelf downstairs, (the same bookshelf that supplied material for my insatiable appetite for reading most of my childhood), read maybe the first chapter, and then tossed it aside, thoroughly and utterly confused. The old English, lengthy descriptive paragraphs, and odd colloquial accents, threw me off I guess.
However, being a "classic", its always been on my To Read list. I figured I would read it when I was older and could understand the big words. Well, I read it, but I'm not going to say I understood it all!
To be honest I was disappointed, because I really wanted to like it, but I just couldn't. I thought it was going to be a Pride & Prejudice-esque read, maybe requiring a little more concentration than your average story, but worth the time.
Instead there seemed to be little reason to like or sympathize with any of the characters, or become emotionally attached, since someone would drop dead every few chapters. They were all bad-tempered, spiteful, cruel, and prone to fits and rages. If they were pale, blond, and blue-eyed, they inevitably fell dangerously ill and cried all the time, and if they had dark hair, they were surly, strong, and silent. It was apparently a love story, but there was plenty more hating than loving in that book, let me tell you.
When it comes down to it, I plodded through the story just to say I had finished it. And I really don't understand what makes it so great.

Well, that is a work of dark Romantic Fiction from long ago. Fast forward to the present time, and you have the wildly popular "Twilight" series.

The first I heard of these was in Ireland...one of the girls in the church was reading them, and left them at my house one time. I didn't really know anything about them, and didn't even bother to take a peek inside. Then last summer the movie was announced, and then all of sudden "I Heart Edward Cullen" groups were popping up on Facebook like a bad case of acne. When the movie was released it was all the girls at school were talking about, and I still had no clue what the book was even about, beyond that the guy was apparently like, really hot, and the girl was like, really pretty, and they were like, really in love.
Ick.
But everyone assured me the book was really good, and everyone was comparing it to Harry Potter, which -not gonna lie here- I truly enjoy, and may have even obsessed over...in the past... ;)

For that reason alone, I didn't reject the book entirely, but merely relegated it to the "I'll probably read it someday" spot. I had no overwhelming urge to subject myself to a cheesy teenage romance; the movie trailer certainly did nothing to entice me.

The other day however, my mom of all people, brought it home from the library. "To see what all the fuss is about".
Having just put myself through the painful ordeal of Wuthering Heights, and having made no plans for the day, I decided a bit of fictional fluff might be in order.
An hour or two (!) later I was halfway through, and the pages were still turning.
Was I desperately bored, or hopelessly addicted?
I stayed up late to read, and made it to the brink of the climax before my aching eyes forced me to go to sleep. When I woke up, I had to find out what happened, and I finished it before 10 AM, ending on a cliffhanger of the sample first chapter from the sequel.
Now that it is done, I'm reflecting on whether or not I actually liked it, and what the allure is.

I'm a little perplexed. On one hand it was very addictive and exciting, but I'm left wondering exaclty why, since its also fairly predictable. As it is a series of 4, I think its pretty safe to assume that the main characters don't die in the first book. Having established character immunity early on takes a lot of suspense out of the plot.
The main character, Bella, I liked. The story is told in her first-person perspective, and her "voice" is entertaining and well-written. A real-ish heroine, she has plenty of faults, flaws, and feelings that the reader can (probably) relate to. Of course, there are always elements of the character that drive me insane, but I'm getting to that...
Its the romance...well, I can see how it appeals, but it is still painfully fictional. What I mean by that is, its a classic case of truly-unexplainable-love-at-first-sight. Why exactly do they love each other? Apparently she is like, so pretty, and smells soooooo good, and he is like, so beautiful, and mysterious, and did I mention beautiful???
Its so typically shallow. They are "deeply and irrevocably in love" a week into their acquaintance, and there's really no reason for it. Normally I could overlook that, except in this case its the basis of the entire story.
It makes no sense. I'm reading their declarations of passion, and I'm thinking, "What the heck? Didn't you just meet?"
Maybe I'm just a cynical old fogey, and you just want me to shut up, and enjoy a girly romance. After, all these are precisely the reasons why its a best-seller, right? The target audience wants to be that shy, new girl that attracts the most handsome, unattainable, boy in school, and is immediately in a dangerous, exciting relationship. It doesn't happen in real life, so we read the book. Ok, cool. I get it. Its an escape, a fantasy, a fairytale. Its not supposed to be "realistic". But I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I don't truly enjoy a story of romance for the sake of romance. There's just not enough substance there. I'm left rolling my eyes, and groaning, "Whatever."
So, summing up: well written, sexy, and shallow...in all honesty, my opinion on the series hasn't changed all that much from what is was before I started. I would read the sequels for entertainment, but I don't really care enough about it to seek them out.

Question of the Day!

Ok, this is a simple question, requiring only a simple action on your part.

I want you to get yourself a glass.
Or you can get a plastic cup. I won't discriminate.
Fill it with a thirst-quenching liquid of your choice.
(I chose water because I'm soooooo healthy like that.)

And as you drink your refreshing beverage, I want you to concentrate on one thing. This is the question: Where do you look when you are sipping? Or guzzling? Or whatever?

Now go and do it before reading on! I don't want you to be influenced!

Here's the thing: I look outside my glass. Anywhere but right in front of me. I am the Alert One, keeping an eye out for would-be attackers. I did grow up with 3 brothers you know. I also just like to keep tabs on what's going down around me.

My Little Brother, Tim, however, is Intent Upon the Beverage. Meaning, he stares straight into the cup, enjoying the pretty colors (he never drinks water) that are slipping and sliding down into his esophagus.

So which category do you fall into? Alert? Intent? Or perhaps a third, known as the Blissful One, which closes their eyes to fully enjoy each delightful molecule of flavor as it passes over their tastebuds? I want to know!

Frosty Window Wisdom

Wednesday morning my car windows had an impressive layer of frost on them.
Its very cold and dark at 6:30 AM, almost perfectly silent, and my brain is functioning at its most basic level.
Bundled in coat and mitts, I begin to chip the frost off with my (mom's) handy-dandy scraper tool.
I begin at the driver door window, and move right to the backseat window. And so on to the rear window...and then the other passenger window...
Suddenly a figure appears next to me. Its wearing a head lamp.
"Don't worry," it says, "Only six months until you won't have to do this anymore."
The figure, who is a old man with a short gray beard, chuckles, and then walks away.

I pause.
So many questions.
Who is this person? Why have they come to me?
What is the significance of his statement?

Perhaps it was Old Man Winter.
Or maybe it was the old guy that delivers the Daily News in that truck parked across the street.

Either way I was too tired to give it much thought.
Until now.
He was really random.

Burning Questions

First of all I'd like to announce an official name change.
My Instructor known as The BFG is now simply, "Sully".
I'm sure you all have seen the Pixar film, Monsters Inc. Hopefully you will remember the huge blue monster who made little girls scream, but was really just a big teddy bear at heart.
I'm back in Sully's station at school, and one thing he does a lot is ask us these burning, unanswerable questions. Maybe you can help me out.

-If 7-11's are open 24/7, why are there locks on the doors?
-Why does Donald Duck wear only a shirt, but when he comes out of the shower he has a towel wrapped around his waist?
-How do they get teflon (non-stick) to stay on the pan?

Mystery Fruit

The question DID flit through my mind...for about a millisecond. Then I thought, "Hey, its cool, its different, its crisp, and it works well. I'll keep it."
Nevertheless, the mystery is unsolved, and the question haunts many who enter here.

WHAT KIND OF FRUIT IS ON MY BANNER?!
A red skin, yellow flesh, black seeds...

Is it a passionfruit? A papaya? a mango? A wax creation that really doesn't resemble anything that grows naturally on this earth?

If you know, please put our minds at ease and share your infinite wisdom.

Also, credit where credit is due. I found the photo at www.omsfoodphotography.com and I think their site is awesome. Please don't sue me.

Boring Blogger

I have to say that I've really been slacking in the blog department lately.
Sorry about that.
I guess things haven't been too exciting around here this month. I haven't really gone anywhere, or done anything particularly blog-worthy, I don't even think I've taken any pictures!
April has been kind of a roller-coaster month for me in many ways. I guess I've realized that I'm running out of time here and evaluating everything, and thinking ahead to the summer, and trying not to jump ahead of myself and live these next couple months to fullest!
I KNOW.
CONFUSING.
Its nearly May (WOW!), and by May 17th I'll basically be finished club work, and I'll be focusing on completing some practical projects for the church. On the 28th I meet Karissa in Belfast and we'll be gallivanting over Ireland for 30 days! Then I arrive back in Fermoy for another week before the Summer Bible Camp starts, and then a few days after that I fly home.
I just spent like...five minutes...sitting here, contemplating that.
Seriously.
I can't quite wrap my mind around it.
Its like trying to touch your ear with your tongue.
(Did you just try?)
Um...ya...I don't quite know how to feel at this point.
Excited to go home, sad to leave. Nervous about starting something new in the fall. Wondering how I'm going to fit back into Kamloops life...not that I think I'm too good for Kamloops :P
Just not sure how it goes anymore. It feels like I've been away forever.
Anyhoo, I'm just rambling now, probably cause I'm really tired and I need to sleep. Speaking of which I'm really not looking forward to the jet lag. I think it will be worse going "back" in time.

Until next time.
Your wee Irish friend.

Good Reading

Well it was my last day at work yesterday...
It was a pretty sweet job because it was usually not very busy, so I could do a lot of reading when everything else was done.
That was a nice change, because since grade 11 I really haven't done a whole lot of reading.
Of the books I finished in the past month or so, Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, and Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller were my favorites.
When I was reading Velvet Elvis, I was like WOW. It is such an amazing book! I felt like it was a year of Bible School squished into one short little book...though I've never been to Bible school, so that might not be accurate at all...
It had some really good things to say (I kept thinking, "I've got to remember this quote so I can blog about it!"....but alas...) and I liked how he made such an emphasis on how we should always be questioning, critiquing, and wrestling with how the Bible is interpreted, instead of just mindlessly accepting whatever anyone says it says. I know I am totally guilty of allowing myself to be "spoonfed".
There is so, SO, much to absorb from that book. I took it out of the church library, but now I wish it was mine so I could take it with me to Ireland. There is still so much I can learn from it.
Through Painted Deserts was not as awe-inspiring, or as deep...but it is by Donald Miller, and I love his style. I absolutely LOVED Blue Like Jazz, and while TPD was not as good as that one, it was funny and thought-provoking. And it said a lot of things that I can relate to at this point in my life.
In conclusion:
If you have time to read, and are looking for a good book, get Through Painted Deserts. Or Blue Like Jazz.
And even if you don't have time to read, and have a stack of good books waiting to be read, go and get Velvet Elvis and READ IT...because it will change the way you think about Christianity. In a good way.

(Pictures are on my librarything link to your right)

Preemptive Eating?

They say you should only eat if you are hungry.
Ok, so let's say you are not hungry at supper time so you don't eat supper.
Then at let's say....8 PM you get hungry so you eat.
Does that really make any difference to your body?
If you ate at dinner time with everyone else wouldn't that be a "preemptive" meal, and therefore you wouldn't be hungry at 8 PM? Is it better to eat at regular intervals even if you're not hungry, if you know you will be hungry later anyway?
Its the same amount of food, but you just consume it when your body is in a different state of hunger. Doesn't it all even out in the end?
Is this a dumb question?

September Solutions

I feel like I'm already on the "Home" stretch!
Its only the beginning of July, but the last few months have gone by SO incredibly fast that I'm expecting these next two to melt away as fast as ice cream in this amazingly hot weather!
While this inspires a certain anticipation of seeing familiar places and friends again, I also get a little panicky thinking about September.
The terrifying Unknown!
Its obviously a little late for school, and I definitely don't want to work at some $8/hour place again. I feel like someone is suddenly handing me Ireland and I'm way too freaked out to take it!
The more I think about it, the more it seems like the perfect timing. I am completely responsibilty-free, I have saved up some funds, and its one of my dreams....right??
Yet I'm so scared of actually going!
What is wrong with me?!
Its like all I want is to slip right back into the normalacy of Kamloops life, where it is safe and comfortable and warm....
But everything changes.
For one, Beebs will not be there at home, Ange will be married (!), and a certain brother of mine might be moved out! Who knows what else will be different. Home might not be bathed in such a sunny glow once I'm living there again!!!
I think perhaps it is time for me to take a little adventure. I just need to work up the courage to actually jump on it.
GAHH! SO FREAKY!

Turmoil of the Worst Kind

Minus the gray hair (and the whole general apperance of this very frustrated woman, besides the fact that she is clutching her head), and you have a basic picture of myself.
As my career at Tim Hortons nears its close (I am giving notice...tomorrow? the day after? argh!) I am forced to look at other occuptational options.
In the distant future I was thinking of volunteering at Camp Homewood as an assistant cook for the Summer months. A couple nights ago I asked brother Mike (who works there full-time) to sort of test the waters for me in that department, and see if it looked promising.
Being the laid-back Islander he is, I wasn't expecting a response any time soon. I was mightily surprised to find that he had called this afternoon and left a message for me to call him back.
Well of course when I picked up the phone to do so, I got the "busy" signal. The same sound I heard every five minutes for the next hour and fifteen minutes! By then I was getting antsy. What did he have to say that made him call back so soon? It was totally unlike him!
Well when I DID finally get through, he said he had talked to the Director...and he was eager for me to come as early as February!!!
WHAT?!?!?!?!
That means I could be gone....soon! IF I go. But... but... but...
I'm totally ill-prepared mentally to leave so soon.
What about friends? Family? BEEBS! (i'd really, really, really, miss my little Beebs)
It wouldn't be a good move for making the moola, but I wouldn't be spending a lot either, so I could go either way financially.
And what if I hate it? I mean, I've cooked there before and its hard work, and I liked it...but what if I get sick of it? Would I be stuck there and hating it?
On the other hand:
What if I love it? What if moving away is just the sort of adventure I need right now? I'll get to explore the whole of Quadra Island with some of the funniest people on earth, I'll be closer to my good friend Karissa and possibly see her on weekends, and who knows I might meet someone during the summer that will want to go to Ireland with me!
I'm so confused. I need to think about this. Slowly. Thoroughly. Rationally.

AUUUUGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!

Music Moods

I don't remember where I read it, but recently I heard someone mention that when they are feeling angry or sad they will listen to music that will cheer them up. Now that I think of it, it seems obvious but that's never been the way I've done it. Weird?
When I'm angry, I'll listen to angry music.
When I'm sad, I'll listen to sad music.
In a normal mood I listen to soft background music.
In a particularly jolly mood, I listen to Disney soundtracks :P
Am I the only one that listens to music that matches my mood?