Since I sort of promised a couple people that I would blog a little more about my exam, here goes...watch out, its kind of a novel.
First of all, I hardly slept at all the night before, but I did actually sleep which was a pleasant surprise! However, I think I was subconsciously stressing because I woke up all rigid and sweaty....ewww....
That was about 5AM, and I lay there until 5:30AM and I had a shower and got ready. I was out the door just after 6.
After I had parked at the school, tried the door to the locker rooms and found it locked, I checked the time. 6:30AM. I was an hour early. So I sat and waited in the chilly morning air until 7, when one of the examiners came and unlocked the door for me.
Then I hung around the locker rooms. One by one the other girls came in...each with a half-scream and crazy nervous half-smiles. It was a frightening time.
It was torturous waiting until 7:30. We did breathing exercises (only half serious...) and trued our knives (that was kind of scary), and asked each other about different dishes. There was only one guy in our group. I'm pretty sure he thought we were crazy.
FINALLY we were called in, and we each drew numbers. On the opposite table were trays with 2 containers, 2 cloths, and recipes with ingredients, but no method. I was the last to draw, and I got #4. Then we drew again, this time for desserts.
Let me go off on a rabbit trail for a sec. Desserts.
I have been practicing and reviewing desserts because I know they are my weakness (I'm not talking about eating them...). They are so finicky. So I did all the big things:
pastry cream, choux paste (for things like profiteroles, and eclairs), and bavarians. AND I read about the others.
I thought I was prepared, ok!?! I TRIED!!! *breaaaathe Jill....breeeeathe*
Anyway. As soon as I picked out my scrap of paper, I knew I was done.
Crepes.
Another rabbit trail. Please...just bear with me.
I cannot make a crepe to save my life.
Back in Entrees I was making seafood crepes, and it nearly brought me to tears. I just can't get them right. And then I had to make them again, to show another girl how to do it. What a joke.
They burn, they aren't round, they stick, they're too thick, they look and taste horrible....there's just nothing good about them.
Out of a liter of thin batter, I probably could make one or two (if I'm lucky) decent crepes.
I knew this before. I remember looking at the sheet of possible practical items and seeing "Crepes- with your choice of filling" and thinking,
gee, wouldn't it suck if I got that? What are the chances? And then skimming over it. FOOLISH, FOOLISH, CHILD.
Back to the exam.
After receiving our menus, we all got to work on our recipe conversions and work plans.
Really, I don't see how I could have done anything differently there. It was pretty good...for me.
My menu & service times were like this:
Mayonnaise 10 AM
Manhattan Clam Chowder 11:45 AM
Chicken in Phyllo with Leek Buerre Blanc 12:00 PM
Crepes 12:15 PM
I did my mayo right away. The emulsification broke the first time, but I just added another egg yolk, and then it was fine.
There was no phyllo pastry in the coolers, which was bad news. The only other phyllo is in the freezer...which means it needs to be thawed. That is what threw me off my work plan.
It took about an hour for it to thaw, so I had to do other things when I was supposed to be prepping my chicken. I started my soup too early. Bad idea. I prepped crepe batter. I blanched carrots and roasted beets.
Its all kind of a stressed, panicky blur now. For the most part I was pretty organized. I made some really dumb mistakes though, which I'm sure knocked my mark waaay down.
As soon as 11:45 hit, I knew it was giong downhill.
My soup was dark and not very appealing...pretty sure I cooked it too long.
Then I had trouble getting my beets peeled in time for plating my main course. My hands were shaking soooo bad. The plates went out late, but they looked decent, and tasted good...I think.
By this time my station was stacked with dirty pans, beet peelings, leftover buerre blanc, spatulas, and miscellaneous crepe garnishes. That took my mark down too, I'm pretty sure. But I didn't have time to get rid of it. I had to make crepes.
Oh, the crepes.
The first one stuck and burnt. I tossed it.
Oh yeah, they monitor our waste, did I mention that?
I tried again. It looked crappy, but I was getting desperate so I made the sauce and plated it.
Then I started to cry.
It looked terrible.
A great, gross, messy plop of yellow, black, and crimson (from the blood orange sauce).
By now I was shaking soo bad, and they were calling that it was time to serve the desserts.
I can't serve that. I can't do it. I'd rather not put out anything, than serve that.
I was really crying at that point. I was ready to give up. Everyone else had put out their dessert already, and I had no hope.
My favorite instructor,
Sully, wandered over at that point, whistling.
"Have you put out your dessert yet?" He asked. My back to him, I just shook my head.
I think he saw my hideous creation then, and the way I was just staring at my batter and ladle.
"Hey," He said, "Its ok. All you need to do is send out 2 plates. That's all. Its ok."
I couldn't talk so I just squeaked something out, and shook my head again.
"What's wrong with that one?" He asked. And he was serious.
"IT LOOKS LIKE VOMIT!!" I said, finding my voice.
The best thing about Sully is when he cracks up. Sometimes he can look so scary, but as soon as he smiles and laughs you can't help but laugh with him. And he cracked up now.
I know he wants me to succeed. And if he could laugh about my terrible crepes, he must not have been too worried that I would fail. That gave me a bit of hope, so I cracked a smile and turned up the heat on my pan.
A few minutes later I put out two awful crepes, though not as awful as the vomit crepe, and cleaned up my station. I had been 15 minutes late. Sort of serious. Actually, serious enough that combined with all my other mistakes, I was 99.9% sure I had failed. I was already thinking about what I should do in the Fall, since I wouldn't be going to school.
I vaguely remember scrubbing some pots, and a tearful girly group hug in the mop room, as well as one of the girls disapearing downstairs and returning with a huge smile, waving a piece of paper.
A few minutes later someone told me it was my turn.
It was creepy walking the short flight of stairs into Accolades Restraunt.
It was dead silent, and the lighting seemed dim.
I saw Sully first, sitting casually to one side... I looked for some kind of hint in his face, but his expression was unreadable. Then I saw everyone else. The Level III instructors, the Chairperson, and all my regular
Instructors, including the grumpy grandfather who
hates me. They were sitting behind a big table that had all our food on it.
I couldn't stop looking at my crepes. They were like a horrible, bloody, car accident that you can't look away from.
"You can have a seat." Said someone. I sat. Like...right on the edge of the chair. Fidgeting. Holding my breath.
"Well, you passed." Said Mr. Clean.
Exhale.
"But only just." He said. "Only
just."
I nodded. I know.
"How do
you think your day went?"
I hate these questions. Obviously according to them, it wasn't so great. But they also want you to show confidence in your cooking. Its lose, lose.
"It was hard." I squeaked. "I stuck to my work plan, but there were a couple things that threw me off...but I did get back on track, mostly!" Breeeeathe. Keep it short. To the point. "At service things kind of fell apart. My crepes...are awful."
The instrucors chuckled, but with little humor.
"Yes, they are. They're just..." He shook his head, "Not good."
I nodded again. I know! I know!
"Your soup is bland, and needs more seasoning, your crepes...well you, know...your main course was good. I think it probably saved you."
I was handed a piece of paper with the date and time of the first day in Level III.
"You can take your plates up now." I was told. I gathered them in my arms, crushing the paper. They all laughed at me, and Ramsey said,
"You can take a deep breath now, Jill." and laughed again.
Some of the girls were crying when I came up the stairs.
"Oh Jill I'm so glad you made it!!" sobbed one.
I wasn't feeling very celebratory. I felt sick. I didn't want to squeak in. I wanted to triumph mightily. I wanted to earn my place in the class, not slither in just as the door was closing.
But that's just the way I am.
Now I had to wait anxiously to see who else would be in my class.
Lin went down, and remained there for a long time. I knew deep down that this meant she hadn't passed, but I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't help it-- the waterworks started again.
And then she came up the stairs and shook her head with her usual smile, and I blubbered, "Lin this suuuuucckkkssss," and she laughed.
School is so fun with Lin. I can harldy imagine what it will be like without her.
That was huge mood dampener. We were all crying agian, except Lin who was wondering what is wrong with all these emotional Canadians.
Of the seven in my group, four of us passed, and we were all greeted and encouraged by our other classmates outside.
I emptied out my locker, and bade my farewells to everyone.
It was actually kind of a depressing day, even though I passed. I hate that not everyone made it through, especially when I think that they deserve to! I guess that's life.
I do appreciate all the encouragement and support you guys have given me here on PJ, through Facebook, and email, and all that jazz. Its great to know I have such an awesome team rooting for me, cheering me all the way :)
The other day two friends from the lodge and I drove out past Gold River to visit the Upana caves! The park is out in the middle of nowhere on a back road to Tahsis, surrounded by mountains, with a small river running through it. We were armed with hard hats, headlights, rain gear, and a poorly designed map which allowed us to partake of a self-guided tour.
Nancy, Me, and Cole just before our first spelunk!
At last we got our map sorted out and realized, hey this must be a cave! Nancy was terrified at first, but I was eager to do some exploring, so I took the lead. At first it was very narrow, and then it expanded suddenly into a spacious, if cool and drippy, cavern. As we clambered over slick unsteady stones, the cave gradually spiraled downwards, growing narrower and narrower as it went along. I couldn't believe it was so big, and went so far! From the outside it hadn't looked like much at all! Some places were quite tight, some required crawling on hands and knees, and for others wriggling like an earthworm was necessary. It was so worth it though!
The biggest cave had multiple openings, and was so large I could imagine Robin Hood and his merry men living in it. My favorite part was discovering a tunnel that went straight up. Naturally, I had to climb...
I've been in a few caves before, once in Guatemala, and once in Ireland, and while both were bigger, they were also guided tours with far less freedom to explore and enjoy in your own time. This was a great (free!) day trip that would be fun to do again!
